Fate is But a Mistress

That damn thing we call fate is a fickle mistress. She stomps, slaps, and crushes our dreams. Unfortunately there is nothing we pea brained humans can do about it. When we are born, fate already has everything lined up for us. Most of it she uses to misdirect us and give us hope. Then when we are least expecting, BAM! She hits us with “Sorry, that’s not in the cards for you”.


I believe fate waits for us to get high on hope before deciding to force us to our knees and beg for the humiliation, horror, and stress to stop. Then she lets us up to a crawl and forces us to stay their with no way out. We crawl through our lives with little hope; it rises a bit before being crushed moreso than before.

There is only one decision that fate lets us make, and even then it is a very small and insignificant choice.

We eventually get to a deciding point where we can accept where we are and live life to the fullest. Which is where we try to get to, and is probably the best choice in terms of mental health. Most people fall into this category. Which is what keeps us humans from ever getting out of fates control.


Then there is the second option. This choice is to live life on your knees hating everyone and everything that you come in contact with. There are quite a few people in the category also. This is probably the worst decision you could make. Fate gets most of her power here. These unlucky few live life waiting, just waiting for their demise. They know this is the only way out. Then one day while they are walking across 87th and Truman BOOM! they get hit by a bus and die instantly. When they wake up( yes wake up, in hell of course) fate is standing over them laughing because now they are stuck in a fate worse than humanity. They are in Hell, with eternal pain and suffering.

Finally there is “MY” option. I refuse to ever let fate keep me down because I know I will just get back up. It does not matter how hard she hits or how difficult things may be come. I will get back up stronger than before knowing that I, and I alone create fate and there is nothing that fickle mistress can do to change that.


Where do you stand? Let me know in the comments.


10 Reasons you Should Smoke

1. Smoking is healthy. Yes, it actually is! If you are a smoker,then you know that helps cure you of the flu, nausea, from getting a fever and even asthma.

2. Smoking is an addiction, that is considerably cheaper than any and all other addictions: fast food, drugs, alcohol. You name it. Tobacco is cheap.

3. All great men used to smoke. It is a well known fact.

4. Smoking strengthens your will power. Smoking in this hostile and cruel world, where your family, friends, doctors, and just about everyone else not in the tobacco industry discourage smoking. By continuing to smoke, you shows signs of will power. You can then apply this mental toughness to other places in your life and you will be all set to become successful. More power to you!

5. Smoking helps the economy, by providing work for tens of thousands of people. Without the tobacco industry, the economy would be in more shit than it already is.


6. Smoking makes you eat less, thus making you look slim and lean. All those models survive on water and 40 cigarettes a day and look how slim and attractive they are. Be careful not to push it, though. You wouldn’t want to look like death’s first cousin.

7. Smoking makes you friends. It’s easy to make friends when all the smokers are standing outside in the snow and rain, you all have some common ground. You get to complain about the ass wipes that made it illegal to smoke inside most places.


8. Smoking is cool. If it weren’t, then why does every other hero in movies have multiple scenes where they are puffing on a cigar or cigarrette before they go kick some bad guy ass?

9. You dont take advantage of fresh air. Everytime you go out for a smoke you can smell and feel the fresh air in your lungs. Most people don’t realize how fresh the air can and usually is.Talk about healthy.

10. It helps you stay awake and remain energetic so you can work long hours, and last time I checked that is being productinve.

These ten points show that there are many more advantages than disadvantages, so start smoking today!

P.S. There will be pills to live forever and pills to cure all disease in the near future so, no need to be worried about any of that stuff.



Why I hate both Major Political Parties

Both major political parties are full of shit. Although they both have their benefit, they would be best off combining their views into one party so we can have the best of both worlds. We could have a very good government who does not unnecessarily interfere with the rights of Americans and everyone could be happy. As long as people have to chose one side or the other, there will always be groups of people who will never be happy. Lets compromise and make one party that everyone can vote for and be happy with.

The flag burning Republicans need to realize that people are born with their likes and dislikes of each sex. People don’t get to wake up one day and decide that the same sex “tickles their fancy”. It does not work like that and for those of you flag burning Republicans that think it works this way try this exercise sometime. One morning when you wake up tell yourself that for one day, I am going to let the same sex turn me on. For this one day try to get yourself off thinking about having sex with your best friend of the same sex. When you finally realize that you are wrong maybe you can start treating people with equality. Just like the CONSTITUTION says, in the very first line might I add.

You baby eating Democrats need to realize that just because some make more than others does not mean anyone should have to pay more in taxes for any reason whatsoever. It’s not their fault that they either made good life choices or were more fortunate than others. People should be able to do whatever they want with the money they earn. Also what is the point of spending more, enlarging, and giving the government more powers when that will do nothing other than infringe on our individual rights. Thats bullshit and you baby eaters know it.

To restate my beliefs for a good conclusion, both major parties are wrong and we all know it. Our country was founded by a bunch of racist baby eaters and flag burners. It wasn’t until Abraham Lincoln that people of color could even have a semi-normal life. Anyone that decides to actually realize I am right should not vote for these dumb-asses, lets create a new combined party the RepubloCrats. Vote RepubloCrats!


6 Reasons Why You Need to Fix the Way you Have been Taking a Dump

That first steamy dump of the day “ughhhhhhh” you yell as a big brown and cylindrical shape forces its way out of your rectum. Something we experience everyday, or at least we should be experiencing everyday (you constipated monkey). Did you know you have been pooping wrong your whole life and that it is going to cause you some major pain?

1. Constipation
When you are little you poop quite often, usually all over yourself. For everyone who worries about not taking a poo everyday, you should be worried. Constipation causes much pain after a while and in some very rare cases can cause cancer from all the bacteria that can not leave through regular bowel movements. Contrary to popular belief eating bananas will not make you take that wonderful feeling and bowel emptying dump. They are good for making your poop harder and in the case of constipation will just make it more difficult and possibly painful. Just think about what a banana is shaped like and imagine it traveling north up your rectum., now explain to me how that will make it easier.

2. Hemorrhoids
Now imagine an orange inside you blocking off the path the poo must take to escape your horrid smelling anus. Thats what it is going to feel like when you do not poop correctly. Those big dumps you must take every once in a while with all the “uuuuggghhh” and “ahhhhhh’s” is going to cause more pain than shoving a nail in your urethra. Drink some prune juice and make that crap flow out like water over Niagra falls.

3. Colon Disease
Ever tired having anal sex when the chicks colon is stuffed up like a turkey on thanksgiving? Not a fun thing to try and you just may end up with a dick covered in brown mush. That alone is reason to start pooping more regularly and the RIGHT way.

4. Urinary Infections
Referring back to point 2, same concept here but this time you have to worry about your dick    not working correctly (which we don’t think would be very fun). Plus what if you are in the    process of having your monkey sucked by a nice girl, but instead of baby makers shooting out    piss comes out. “Did you just piss on my face?” “ Uhh…No”. Enough said no more sex for you.    Goodbye.

5. Pelvic Floor Issues
This one if mostly for the ladies although men can get this problem. By using the “sit and poop” option you are putting “anorectal Angle of the colon causing the lower part of the colon to drop and protrude into the wall of the vagina”. Wow, does that sound painful or what! But on the bright side it sounds like it may be a bit like having sex with an Ape who ate to many Viagra pills.

6. Diarrhea
Finally the problem we have all come to love. This is most definitley no fun to have. It causes running to the bathroom at the most inopportune moments and it squirts our like water from a hose. The only upside to this wonderful problem is that it sounds like you are peeing, so when at a friends house you can blame the horrid smell on someone else( because you were just taking a piss.
What you have all been waiting for the correct way to take a steamy dump with no problems. Just put a little stool(no pun intended) next to the toilet. Next time you go, prop your feet up a little with the stool so you are kind of squatting and let er’ rip. You will enjoy your time on the pot more with no worries of disease or constipation.

My Buddy Pall

To my best bud Pall,

My friend, my muse, my companion. I don’t know how I ever lived without you, you have always been there for me. You are not always cheap to have around, but you stick by me through the thick and the thin. When I need to relax or relieve stress you put me at ease. When I need you the most you are always there to comfort me. I just step outside and light your orange, long, glowy tip and puff away until you help solve my problems.

Anyonewho has never been with you dose not realize how great you really are. They put you down for no good reason, and I will always be there to take your side. For which the put me down for, but I don’t care as long as WE stay by each others side. They say you are bad to be around and I disagree.

Has anyone ever tried to stop smoking? If so then you may know how I felt when this passage above was written. It is almost sad that I wrote this but all you smokers out there may know how I felt. When I wrote this I was not trying to stop, I just did not have the money to buy my friend back. It took me 2 ½ days to get my buddy Pall back. I tried to last longer but as soon as the money fell into my hands I was off to the corner store.

What are you experiences with trying to quit. Let me know

How to Make Money When you don’t have a Pot to Piss In

Hustling is a way of life for some, for others it is a temporary thing until they get back on their feet. If you are one of the people doing just to get back on your feet then this is probably the page for you. Most of these methods will net you 100+ per day depending on where you live and how long, hard, and how good you are at selling. So without further ado here is my list:

1 My number 1 favorite way is buying those large boxes of pixie sticks. You gotta but the 36′ inch ones though, they basically sell themselves. Especially if you are in school or in a large city like NY. While I was in High School I could easily sell a box a day, and that was while trying to keep grades up and pay attention. You could sell four or five times that if you wanted to. Lets check out the math on these.
1 box = 50 sticks= $12
Profit= $38 a box ( selling at $1 each, although in a city you could sell them just as easily for 2x the price)

2 boxes= 100 sticks= $24
Profit= $76 bucks

These Pixie Sticks sell themselves when you are walking around. The best I ever did in one day was 3 boxes but It was tiring and the teachers were getting mad. So stick to 1 box and only sell them between classes and you easily make $190 a week. More than enough spending money for the weekend.

2 You can do the same with bottle water. But you would most likely need to be doing this on a street intersection with long lights. Buy a case of 30 bottles for $5 bucks and you profit $25 bucks per case. This one is good in a city on hot days.

3 Mowing lawns was my favorite way to make money during the summer. Not very difficult and you can easliy make 30 or 35 bucks per lawn depending on the neighborhood. Mow 3 lawns per day and you profit about $90 bucks or $450 bucks a week. It may take a while to get that many people. Or if you are to lazy for that much work or just want a more part-time thing find 3 people that want there lawns mowed and have it setup so you only mow for those 3 people once a week. That is 90 bucks a week or $360 bucks a month for maybe 2 hours of work per week. You will have more money than any middle schooler with less work and you made it all yourself. Thats also a pretty good gig for high school kids, 360 bucks a month for 8 hours of work, while all your friends have to work at crappy fast food places for 7 bucks an hour and then lose half of that on taxes. What suckers.

In conclusion hustling is pretty lucrative and you get to avoid the man stealing any of your hard earned cash. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.


Happiness. What we really need.

Good food, good drink, and good company; thats all we really need. As I wrote this comment of facebook based on a picture a friend posted, it made me think. Whats really important? I couldn’t come up with anything other than what this statement here already said. I think everything in life boils down to having good company. When I say “company” that includes friends family and everyone else important in your life. As long as you are with them and you have a little food and drink you can have the best night of your life. You don’t really need money or material possessions to be happy. People seem to think if I just had this or if I can just win the lottery then I will be happy. Just look at all the people the commit suicide after they have won the lottery or the people that blow the money and then realize they were no happier with the money than they were without it. What do you think? What would make you happy? Start a discussion below and let me here your opinions on this matter.


NSA proof SmartPhone

“NSA Proof” Smart Phone

Phil Zimmermann the creator of PGP encryption, Silent Circle, and some other big international players have finally started up a project that may be “NSA Proof”.

Anyone looking for a phone that will keep them away from the prying ears of the sneaky little government may just have what they need soon. They are calling it the Black Phone, it will have an open source OS and you will also supposedly be safe from eavesdroppers. How long something like this will last; admittedly probably not very long, as the NSA will be keeping tabs on this. It is suppose to be released at a National convention in Madrid, Feb 24.

I don’t know about you but this sounds like a really cool gadget, and I sure as hell plan to get my hands on one of these babies.  I have no reason to want more privacy other than to practice my rights as an American.  Pretty sweet idea if you ask me.

What do you guys and gals think of this new “Black Phone” concept?

What a Beauty

Woke up in a New Bugatti

When we hear rap music on the radio or in a club, the deeper implications behind
the lyrics are usually the last things on our minds. As long as it has a nice beat,
powerful bass and a catchy hook, we’re good. And earlier this year, rapper Ace Hood
released an incredibly popular song with one of the simplest hooks of all time. I
woke up in a new Bugatti. Imagine if you didn’t actually have to buy one. You just
went to sleep one day and woke up in a $2 million vehicle. But for many of us, this
will always be something to daydream about. In fact, Ace Hood doesn’t actually
have a Bugatti of his own and says the lyric is meant to represent a feeling of
waking up and being successful – as though you’re worth a few million bucks. “

After reading this, I quickly went to YouTube and looked up the song. I really enjoyed what I heard but like the quote above said I seemed to miss the meaning behind the lyrics. So once more I listened to the song, trying to understand what Ace Hood was really trying to say. I think that the quote above represents what I got out the song very well.

I have never woken up with a feeling like it, so for 2014 my goal is to be able to wake up one morning feeling like I am worth a few million dollars, whether it will be literal and I will have that type of cash or just the feeling of success or possibly waking up in a new Bugatti( which would be awesome,seeing as that is my favorite car).I agree with what he is trying to represent. What do you think? Post your comments below, send me an email, or just ponder it and maybe you will see where you want to be or where you are in your life.